College graduate cancels graduation dinner plans after 6 family members flake on their ceremony, one claiming the affair would be too ‘boring’: ‘Out of the 8 seats reserved, only my parents came’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jul 5, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

Life milestones are something you want to share with your loved ones. One can only hope that the folks they care about equally care for them and their accomplishments. However, one thing you must learn early in life is this: People are selfish. You may share the same DNA and celebrate the holidays with them twice a year, but more often than not, that's all you'll get from them.

Our immediate and distant family members alike may try to hijack our special days and create a "Me me me" bubble around themselves, so that they can turn a celebration reserved for you into something that surrounds them instead. Now, this may be intentional or completely unintentional, but it doesn't matter—when someone's graduating from college, you don't bail because the ceremony would be too "boring." What, are we five years old?

In this next story, a college graduate chooses to bail on a dinner his aunt had made reservations for after she fails to attend her ceremony on purpose. The aunt would rather have dinner and celebrate the graduate's milestone that way, but she never asked what her niece wanted. This is another case of a selfish family member forming that selfish bubble around themselves, then getting mad when it's popped. Scroll below to read the entire story.

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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for canceling the dinner my family planned after they skipped my graduation ceremony?"

    I (20F) recently graduated from community college and am transferring to a 4-year university. I'm an immigrant from Europe, and this graduation.
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  • meant a lot - it was the result of years of hard work and emotional ups and downs. So I invited my whole family in the U.S. to attend the ceremony.
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  • My parents were there, no question. But four days before the event, my aunt (60F) texted me calling the ceremony "boring" and said she'd rather take me to
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  • dinner at a fancy place the week after. She never asked if I wanted that she picked the restaurant, sent the location, and just asked for my availability to book a
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  • reservation. I was caught off guard and agreed in the moment just to avoid conflict. But later I realized it wasn't my plan at all, and I didn't want to celebrate something they chose not to show up for.
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  • Then my cousin (35M, her son) told me he couldn't come either - his wife was working and their baby was sick. Honestly, I didn't expect him to come anyway
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  • because I know his life is chaotic. But he let me know that he had talked to his mom and found out she was taking me to dinner, so
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  • he'd join. He didn't plan it — he was just going along with it, and, again, I was never asked what I wanted.
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  • Less than a day before the ceremony, my grandma (80F), who I was absolutely sure would come, said she wasn't attending
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  • either. She mentioned hip pain and bl d pressure. I had already arranged everything - golf cart transportation, shaded seating, water and told her it would be -
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  • safe. For context, she lives independently, walks over 5,000 steps a day, gardens constantly, and is very active. Then she added, "next time you come by,
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  • we'll celebrate at my place." Again — no asking me what I - wanted, just another plan made for me without me. She hasn't spoken to me since, and I can't shake the feeling that my aunt (her daughter) influenced her too.
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  • Out of the 8 seats I reserved, only my parents came. But honestly, I had the best day ever. After that, I told the rest of my family I wasn't going to do a
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  • makeup dinner or post- celebration. I had already celebrated with the people who showed up. I sent a calm message explaining that, without any drama.
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  • My aunt responded passive- aggressively and tried to make it about herself. My cousin apologized and said he was just trying to see me when he could -
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  • which I appreciated. But still, the whole situation felt wrong. They made plans about me, without involving me, and expected me to just go along with it.
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  • AITA for refusing to go along with a celebration I didn't ask for, after being excluded from my own graduation plans?
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  • Tangerine_Bouquet NTA and the only real AH here I'd say is your aunt. Graduation ceremonies are not for the entertainment of the guests. They are a way to show up for people you love and celebrate an achievement. Your aunt sounds very self-centered and unsupportive, and you're right not to go to her dinner-on-demand.
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  • Get together with the others as normal for your relationships. I hope they acknowledged your achievement. Congratulations and all the best in the coming years of uni!
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family dynamics family drama graduation entitlement students graduate reddit story family feud parenting entitled family reddit thread parent Reddit parents children entitled people
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